What’s in your control and what’s not

This somewhat links into my last blog about dealing with rude people. This strategy can definitely help within that problem.

So, I’ve been told that as a social worker, I need to learn what’s in my control and what is not within my control and to not stress about the things that I can’t control. Such as, if I have a client who decides to take a certain path that I’m pretty sure won’t end up as great as another path and I have informed them of my thoughts and experiences but they still want to chose that path, this is not within my control and I need to let the worry of that go and just deal with whatever happens from it.

I’ve started trying to apply this within my personal life as well. If I have a friend that does not want to be my friend anymore, that is not within my control. What I can control is my actions, my attitudes and my words. I can’t control what another person feels or does so I need to let it go and decide on my own actions. I CAN NOT change the situation, but I can change my emotions on the situation. I was angry at the situation because I had known this friend for seven years and it upset me. But now I have learnt that I just need to accept it’s something that I can’t change. So now I am really very comfortable with it. If other people are rude to me, that’s also something I can’t change, it’s out of my control. I need to change my attitude (anger) towards this situation. I really like using this method because it helps me eliminate some stress, emotion and anxiety from my life.

Knowing and accepting that there are things out of your control and there’s not point stressing or trying to change that is very liberating. Of course I need to remind myself of this regularly, but it’s helping me 🙂 I love it!

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