Sorry about my delay with my post this week, but here it is. — Dealing with rude people–.
I felt the need to post this as I have had my share of rude people and I believe we all come across rude people within our life time. These are people that DO NOT know you at all and feel the need to speak rude to you or treat you rudely because you are not adhering to their rules of life or society. Now, I need to write this post because I do not cope well with people that are rude to me.
When I was 16 I had my first complete experience of rudeness (there would have been other rude things before this, but they were minor in comparison).
When I was 16 I worked in the Deli at Woolworths in Mt Isa and it was Christmas eve during the day. Extremely busy and I was serving a lady her prawns that she had placed on order for Christmas. Unfortunately, another staff member had given this lady’s order to someone else and we had no prawns left. I informed my boss about this but she told me to tell the customer myself, WHICH, to this day, I do not agree with. I went back and calming told the lady about what had happened and was extremely apologetic because, to be honest, it was a massive screw up on our part. This customer went off her cracker at me, full on yelled at me, screamed at me and belittled me in front of everyone in a busy store at the age of 16. Shannon, at this age, was frozen and all I could say was “I’m really sorry, Do you want to speak to the manager?” She just said no and told me that I was representing the manager, which is bullshit, I was a 16 year old girl working a part time job and it really was stupid of her to not talk to the manager as she would have gotten perks or something. ANYWAY, when she left, I could not contain myself, I burst into tears and I was inconsolable for a good 30 minutes. As I walked to the staff room, my eyes red and filled with tears, I walked past the bitch lady and she didn’t even care about how distraught I was. IT WAS CHRISTMAS!!
I’m telling you this story because as I’ve become older, I’ve realised that the way I handle things have changed. I don’t cry anymore, I get angry. I get really really angry. I believe that people should be treated with respect unless proven otherwise. I believe that you should be kind to everyone and considerate to everyone, unless they prove to be an asshole. I understand this in turn is me being rude to a person being rude to me because THEY aren’t adhering to MY rules of life, but … I think my rules are better than theirs, because I treat people nice and for them to be rude to me makes no sense.
I’m writing this as a self reflection task for myself, to be aware of who I am and how I react with certain people and in certain situations. I am well aware that the way I handle things at the present moment is really bad and doesn’t help anyone. I get threatened (by men with metal poles) and I get yelled at and called dumb. I’ve come to the conclusion that no one wants to be wrong and everyone is working from a different frame for life. Getting angry just makes my situation worse and nothing good comes from it, even though I think I’m teaching someone a lesson. Therefore, I need a different way of dealing with rude people in life. (I’m usually good when I’m in a work uniform though, I’m well aware that I need to be professional, this is in my everyday life as just me).
In my lecture the other day, my teacher talked about where depression, anxiety, anger and self pity stem from in regards to a theory by Albert Ellis.
In regards to my anger and resentment (which I can definitely see this) is this:
Other people must always treat me kindly, fairly, lovingly or considerately, or else they are no damned good.
^^^ This is definitely where A LOT of my anger comes from and probably where everyone’s anger comes from. Now, I’m not saying by this statement that you should let people treat you bad and not be angry, some anger is good and you should definitely always stand up for yourself (I’m a firm believer on that) However, in cases such as mine, I need to let it go.
For those interested in the other two theories-
Anxiety, depression, despair:
I must at all times be successful at important performances and relationships or else as a person I am worthless.
Self-pity, rage, low frustration tolerance:
Conditions under which I live must be comfortable, pleasurable, rewarding, otherwise it’s awful, I can’t stand it and the world is no good.
I would like to talk about my new strategies for coping with rude people that I may come across in my future but I shall save that for this coming Sunday, so watch this space!!! xoxo